Divota prašine: Naricanje jedne čarobne krpe

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Izađem na svjež, zimski zrak. Koji naporan radni dan. I još moram u gradu obaviti nešto. Nazovem da čujem da li je zakoniti pokupio maloga iz vrtića i da li je sve ok .

“Jesam. Doma smo već. Dušo, biti ćeš ponosna na mene. Napokon radim nešto korisno!”, kaže mi ushićeno preko telefona.

Požurim riješiti sve što trebam i krenem kući.  “Napokon ću ući u stan, a da ne izgleda poput gradilišta. Prašnjav, prljav, igračke razbacane po cijelom boravku, pseće dlake u svakom ćošku, perilica puna ili prljavog ili čistog posuđa, ali uvijek puna. Rublja po svim radijatorima, alata na svakoj polici!”, pomislim sretna. U liftu me obuzme neki zloćudni povjetarac i ja se lagano naježim. Izađem na svom katu i prvo začujem neobičnu buku. Poput onog putujućeg cirkulara koji pili drva po dvorištima. Uđem u stan i otvorim širom usta. Krajnje iznenađena, štoviše. Oči mi se rašire poput crtanih likova u kineskom crtiću. Sekundalno me zapuhne miris paljevine i lice mi zaškaklja fina, bijela prašina. Kihnem. Pogledam prema boravku i oko mi počne živčano titrati, pa čak i glava lagano trzati. On razvuče osmijeh od uha do uha i teatralno drekne pokazujući rukama prema nekoj drvenoj konstrukciji: “Ta – daaaaa!”

Srce mi počne ubrzano lupati i ja se krenem osvrtati oko sebe. Na policama cca 3mm najfinije prašine, pod prepun ispiljenih letvica i piljevine. Mali sjedi u tome, prljav k’o lučki radnik na izradi drvene konstrukcije Horvatinčićeve nove jahte. Osmijeh od uha do uha, sa svrdlom i ogromnim čavlom u ruci, sav crven oko ustiju od te prašnjave šuge. Srećom (po njih), imam već razrađeni sistem predihavanja u slučaju napadaja panike.

“Vidiš, stalak za ribičke štapove! Sad će mi sve biti na jednom mjestu i neće onako neuredno stajati u smočnici u ćošku!”, osmijeh i dalje oko glave.

Sljedeća dva dana sam čistila sve površine u stanu. Mislim da je i psu od stresa dlaka prestala opadati. Svakako je bilo manje njene dlake, nego ove fine, aristokratske prašine, koja se zavuče i u korice knjiga i u čaše u regalu. Ipak je nekako trebalo riješiti onaj stari, drveni okvir od kreveta. Pa što od njega ne bi nastao stalak za ribičke štapove. Tri dana poslije, morala sam mu priznati da je stalak zaista genijalan. Iskreno, već sam i zaboravila svu tu prašinu. A zašto? Zato jer je već aktualan sljedeći incident. I tako iz dana u dan. Ili on, ili djeca. I to je već nekako zaista postalo pravilo, a ja nikako da naviknem na to. Svaki put imam dvosatne tikove i predisavanja i organizam mi se i dalje uporno odupire tom stanju “svejedno mi je” ili “ionako se to nikada neće promijeniti” ili “daj se više navikni na te muškarce”.

I tako. Kao i naša svakojutarnja priča sa uskoro trogodišnjakom. Prvo se natežemo petnaestak minuta da uopće izađemo iz kreveta. Ok, tu je definitivno na mater. Onda slijedi natezanje hoćemo li piškiti prije ili poslije doručka. Doručak obično pobijedi. Muško uvijek ima strogo poslagane prioritete. Nakon doručka se ipak moramo posvaditi prije nego dođemo do kupaone i napunimo Krešu, mali plastični pisoarčić, skoro preko ruba.

“Kješo je stvajno bio žedan mama!”

Pa onda natezanje sa odjevanjem. Neće vjerovati, no današnja muška djeca su rođeni metroseksualci.  Jedva zna reći što želi, ali jako dobro zna što želi. Odnosno što ne želi. Pa nakon desetminutnog kompenziranja oko odjeće i obuće, slijedi desetminutno kompenziranje koju  igračku može danas ponijeti u vrtić. Pa onda plač zašto on nije gurnuo ključ u bravu, zašto ne može do tipke u liftu, zašto se vrata tako sporo zatvaraju, zašto je vani zima, zašto ima toliko stepenica, zašto se grane njišu, zašto je prozor auta zaleđen, zašto na radiju nema Mama Kukunka. Pa zašto je dežurna baš ova teta jutros u vrtiću, zašto mu se mrvica kruha zalijepila za potplat papuče, zašto mora silaziti niz stepenice, zašto, zašto, zašto, zašto i cendranje, cendranje, cendranje i cedranje. U firmi u liftu shvatim da mi je od jutarnjeg stresa i šminka pobjegla sa lica. Nasmijem se sama sebi i pomislim: “Da! Ako se problem ne može riješiti čekićem, ljepljivom trakom, s WD-40 ili laptopom, sve ostalo je ženski problem!”

Iiiiiii subota je stigla! Napokon! Danas je gospodin na ribičiji i vraća se sutra, mali je kod bake, a ja imam slobodan dan. Odradila sam jutarnju smjenu, kad sam došla kući napravila sam brzinsku generalku. Navukla sam tajice i sportsku majicu i otrčala 2km. Nevjerojatno mi je godilo. Popila nabrzaka kavicu sa susjedicom. Istuširala se, pojela šaku kokica, popila čašu pive i zavukla se u krevet uz omiljene serije. I što mi se dogodilo. Nedostaju mi moji dečki. Nedostaje mi moje mamakalo i zakoniti koji me onako usput štipne za dupence, dok se saginjem pokupiti sve igračke s poda. Pa pomislim: “Taj Meša je stvarno zakon. Genijalac, štoviše! Ova žena je ćudljiva. Vječiti april!”. Nasmijem se glasno, ugasim TV i smireno usnem. Jer sutra je opet novi dan.

Tihana Kunštek

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